Wednesday, April 29, 2009

It's the Unexplainable, the Unfathomable... It's Bedtime

I don’t know if you have weeks like this but this has been THE week for our kids not wanting to sleep. Actually I think this goes all the way back to a couple of weeks ago when we were at my parents house and they were coming up with every excuse they could think of to delay bedtime. In fact, I don’t think our generation blames near enough of their problems on their parents ;0) so I’m just going to go ahead and say this is all Nana and Papa’s fault since it started at their house.

I have made some amazing discoveries about bedtime just in this last week however. I thought I would share a few of them with you. Children really are marvelous little people and I am always surprised with the way their minds and bodies can work.

For instants, it is fascinating to me how a four year old can develop, right at bedtime, a sudden unquenchable thirst. Water is suddenly like sugar to her and she cannot get enough.

In the same category as this drinking phenomenon is the way a three year old can take 10 minutes to drink two ounces of water. There is swallowing involved the entire time so you know they are not just playing or stalling hoping for just a few more minutes out of the confinements of their bed. They are actually taking five full minutes per ounce of water.

All of my potty-trained children have this strange medical condition in which they develop sudden bladder infections sending them to the bathroom every 20 minutes, just at nighttime. In the morning… they are cured! Again, this is just the potty-trained kids. Fascinating!

My middle son has a handy little talent in which he can squeeze out the tiniest little bit of poop any time the situation requires it. The threat that he will be in trouble if he does not really go poop after he, of course, suddenly just has to go 10 minutes after the lights are out has cultivated this talent in him. We are thinking of taking it on the road.

I don’t know, maybe it’s their bedroom. It really does seem to be a magical place. One where pacifiers disappear into an abyss, a land where toys suddenly sprout wings and fly up to the top bunk. This is a room full of invisible laughing children, and they are not my own children, just ask them, none of them were laughing or talking.

I’ve also come to realize that bedtime is not just a time that brings out the spectacular in children, but in grown men as well. I will forever be in awe of how a tired overworked father can, out of the blue, obtain the energy of two-two year olds during the bedtime routine and suddenly think that this would be the perfect time for a wrestling match followed by a quick gymboree class.

Bedtime really is a extraordinary experience!


  1. Oh I love it! So hilarious and so true. Especially the part about husbands....*snicker* Seriously, what is with that?! Your writing always cracks me up. It also prepares me for when Jonathan starts doing this stuff to me soon.

  2. Haha. So true. And now that Shiloh has her imaginary sheep, they seem to jump out of the bed a few times each night. And Shiloh gets quite upset if I don't go round them up. (There are two of them, last time I asked.) So I spend my evenings chasing sheep. They would be easier to catch if I could see them.

  3. ok, you so need to keep writing. At the risk of sounding like my mother... you could make a book! you are very talented!


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