Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Down, But Not Out

It seems God would like me to practice what I have preached here the last month. From Out Of Control Faith to The Choice... No Matter What!  To believing for and relying on the strength that only He can give. 


Last Wednesday I was driving Elyse home from a doctor's appointment and a pain shot through my right hand like an electric shock. Afterwards both my hand and arm were weak, tingling and in pain. Because of a heart defect that I have that puts me at risk for a stroke we were advised to go to the ER. Praise God the doctor ruled out a stroke. He thought I might have Tennis Elbow. However based on some other symptoms I was having he was concerned about Multiple Sclerosis and told me to follow up with our primary doctor ASAP. 


The next day the kids and I were rear ended. Nothing serious, everybody was fine! Can I hear another Praise God! But the car was not too happy about it. So the next few days were calls to body shops, car insurance companies and the car rental place. In the midst of all of this we got into see our wonderful doctor. She too ruled out stroke but listened to my heart and was concerned. She has been my doctor for years, delivered three of our babies and listened to my heart scores of times. My heart murmur (that I was born with but is rarely heard at regular exams until last year) was very clear and there had been an obvious change in it. She told me we could not put off seeing the Cardiologist. She also said she did not believe the problem with my arm was tennis elbow. (we had already thought this to be true because the pain had since moved up to my shoulder and I was beginning to have problems with the other arm as well.) She said it may be a pinched nerve in my neck. She also said there is a chance it could be MS. For now we will look into the possibility and treat for a pinched nerve. Never thought I'd be hoping for a neck injury! But I AM! She advised we go home and try to get insurance. (I do not have any and the tests she is ordering are EXPENSIVE!) We found out I am uninsurable (how rude!) because of the pre existing heart condition. And then God showed off in a big way and things seem to be working out in that area! Let's hear it one more time... PRAISE GOD! 


I realize I may be over reacting but all of this made for a LONG week. I am worn out physically, mentally and somewhat emotionally. I feel slightly like a shell of myself right now because this occupies my mind constantly. And the pain and tingling in my hands and arms, while not unbearable by any means, is annoying and sometimes more uncomfortable than I would like. I will admit I am scared about the answers we might find. Insurance will not be effective until July 1 and I do not wait well. 


My sister-in-law, Laurel,  who is both humorous and loving sent me two texts the night we got home from the emergency room. 


One was this: 
Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. Hebrews 13:15-16


"The peace that makes no sense."  
This was from the blog post I had written the night before. 

Her next text was this:
“By faith Sarah herself also received strength...” Hebrews 11:11 
From a post earlier this month A Promise Is A Promise 


I told her God was making me practice what I preached on this blog. 


Her response was, "Yeah, He's also really good at reminding us of His promises and love right before we need it most." 


HOW TRUE! (my sister-in-law is also very wise) I wonder if God put the blogging bug in me last month for such a time as this. He has reminded me again and again of the things he has taught me in the past weeks. I do not know if it would have been as clear if I had not "written" them down.  I realize this post may not hold any deep meaning for anybody else. It is not eloquent or humorous. Likely none of my other posts are either. But I am glad to have a place to go now, and in the future, to be reminded of God's faithfulness in our lives. I know this time, like every other, He has a plan and is at work in our lives. My mom said she was not sure if I could take much more... sometimes I think she may be right (although I know compared to many this is just a cake walk). But I also think that it is not that God does not give you more than you can handle. Rather he first prepares and equips you to handle it and then comes the struggle, whatever it may be. I believe we will be prepared for whatever we discover in the next weeks and months and I will be able to declare his good works no matter what! 


Praise the Lordall you nations; extol him, all you peoples. For great is his love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Psalm 117:1-2


3 comments:

  1. Sarah - good as usual but hard for me to read. Please know I stand beside you, pray for you, trust the Lord with you, and HURT for you. Oh that I could take your place and walk through it for you. I know HIS plans for you are good but a moms heart hurts for her child regardless. I LOVE YOU and think you are truly amazing. I am believing that "Joy comes in the morning" and morning is just around the corner.

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  2. Oh wow, Sarah...you have so much going on. I will be praying for you and that you get an answer very soon about what is going on with your health!

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  3. I lift Sarah up right NOW to hands that are big enough to carry her burdens, gentle enough to hold her cares and pierced enough to cover the imperfect. May Sarah trust you no matter what. May she keep her gaze steady to the HILLS trusting help to come. May Sarah be filled with the ability to laugh at the days to come and find joy in the midst of heartache. Bring peace when none can be found, bring answers and light to the shadows of health. ONLY YOU can provide streams in a desert. I trust you with this mom and will not be disappointed for THE LORD GOD is a work.

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