I have to say, I think I can be a pretty brave mom. Or at least I have learned to be, several years and a number of ER trips down the road. I no longer hover over my children at playgrounds. I let them climb trees. Hey, I may even let them back on a trampoline once they are in college, even after Elijah nearly broke his hand on one.
Admittedly I still have to muster up some courage when my two year old wants to break out the markers. I check often for unattended and open markers, I am always anxious for her to be bored coloring and for clean up time to commence.
A few days ago I got distracted cleaning the kitchen while the three youngest were coloring in the living room. Now Elyse and the boys do fine, they are old enough to have experienced my wrath enough times...markers are treated with respect. But I was not really paying much attention to Hannah.
A few minutes into their coloring one of the boys came and found me to report, which sounded suspiciously like tattling, that Hannah had drawn on herself. I had visions of not just Hannah but curtains, furniture and walls being covered! I took my time getting to the living room then breathed a sigh of relief. It was not too bad. A little on her fingers, a few intentional lines on her knee.
Sitting down on the couch, I called Hannah over to me to talk to her about it.
“Hannah, where do we color?”
“Do we color anywhere else?”
“That’s right, we don’t color on walls, or ourself...”
At this point she began to pull her little dress down over her knees, squatting down to make sure she had it covered.
“I already saw your leg, I know you colored on it,” I said.
With a bit of a guilty look on her face she slowly stood and let go of her dress.
We talked some more and took care of appropriate discipline (also snapped a cute picture) and Hannah went on her merry way!
|Excuse my dirty wall... |
paint colors have been selected to make it pretty again!
I thought it was all pretty cute and went back to the scene in my mind off and on for the rest of the evening.
It brought to mind how I try to cover up my own sins from God, who is already so aware. He has seen the marks on my knee. I know it, He knows it, yet I still try to pull my dress down over it.
It’s like the little white lies I tell my friends, “I am very satisfied with my prayer life.” (Really my prayer life consists of one sided conversations throughout the day. Quick requests thrown up half-heartedly.)
I tell them, “I didn’t do my bible study homework because the kids were sick and I just didn’t have the time with taking care of them.” (I did manage to get caught up on my favorite television show in between wiping sweaty heads and administering tylenol. I bet I could have gotten some homework done.)
My friends might not be aware. But I take it so far as to try to convince God in order to push aside my own guilt. I begin to tell Him those same lies. It’s the ultimate cover up.
Remember Adam and Eve in the garden? They took and ate of the fruit they had been told not to eat. Then they tried to cover up...
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” Genesis 3:7-10
Considering the kind of fellowship Adam and Eve had with God at this time, they had to have known He saw their sin. Yet their own shame caused them to try to hide it from each other, and then from God.
It’s funny that they shared the same exact sin, they were also both naked, yet they felt the need to cover themselves. Funnier still they attempted to keep it from God - all knowing, all seeing.
Wouldn’t it be amazing to be naked and unashamed, before each other, before God? Look here...
Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord”— and you forgave the guilt of my sin. Psalm 32:5
He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy. Proverbs 28:13
I am sure, I hope, that my sister’s-in-Christ carry around some of the same sins. (I don't want to be the only screw up) I wonder, if I would begin to be honest about my own, if there would be a freedom that came with that.
I know the safest place to start, to get a little practice. I can stop trying to concealing my sin from somebody who is already so intimately aware. I can begin to confess my sins to my Heavenly Father and receive the mercy he is so ready to give.
You know with a little scrubbing the marker came off of Hannah just fine. If I had never seen the scribbling on her knee it might still be there today. Can you imagine the pains she would have had to go through to keep that hidden from me? It would have hindered her at play time. It would have affected our time together. I can just see it, as I am tickling, kissing and giving raspberries on her tummy, instead of being free to giggle and wiggle she would have been trying to be mindful of what lay just under her pant leg. “What if mommy sees, how can I continue to keep this covered?”
I had already seen it, already knew it was there but it had to be dealt with. We mothers know we must sometimes wait for our kids to show us their disobedience in order for them to learn to take responsibility. God is the same with us.
Now Hannah's disobedience has been revealed. It's been washed away and forgotten. Sure there was discipline. I know her day without markers served as a reminder of how to use them next time. But today she is free to run, wiggle, roll and giggle to her hearts content without any fear of her “cover” being blown.
P.S. I LOVE comments! Please don't be shy!