Our sweet Hannah turned three yesterday! This was bitter sweet. To me a two year old is still a baby, but three... We might as well start packing her bags for college.
I spent the day thinking about life before Hannah or rather life leading up to Hannah. Four years ago Jarrod and I were undecided about having a fourth child. Just about the time he would think we should go for it I would decide, “No I think we are good with three.” Then I’d start coming around and he would change his mind. This went on for months.
I do not think I will ever forget the night that we came to the same happy conclusion. I had run out to get some dinner at one of the four restaurants in our tiny little town. Jarrod, after having spent the weekend at home alone with all three little ones who were, at the time barely 4, just turned 3 and 1 year and 5 months old, was surprisingly in favor of having another. I was still on the fence.
Now I like to day dream, it is what I do with every happy spare moment I have. I have dreamed up and drawn up plans for our future million dollar home. As well as several scenarios in which we become multi millionaires. Often times my day dream believing mind will wander into that home and picture our family at different stages in our lives. A saturday morning a couple of years from now (because let’s be realistic, it will take a couple of years to earn our fortune and build our mansion) I will imagine a school day when the kids are in intermediate and junior high and we are happily getting ready for the day, and running on time. Yes, sometimes I even believe the impossible can come true.
This particular evening on my drive to the local Dairy Queen I was picturing the kids as they would be in high school. In my imagination we were sitting in our beautiful spacious living room and talking about the events of the day. Jarrod, Elyse, Isaiah, Elijah and myself. We were laughing and visiting and into the living room from the back of the house walks this beautiful girl a couple of years younger than Elijah.
“Wait a minute, back up. Aren’t I suppose to conjure up what happens in my own fantasy world?” It was the strangest thing. I hadn’t meant to imagine this girl in our home. It had not come from me. But somehow immediately I knew, “this was our daughter. She was suppose to be in that living room with us. She was a part of this family!”
I could not get home fast enough. I told Jarrod what had happened and that I believed we were suppose to have another baby. Neither of us changed our minds from then on.
The two doctors that performed my scheduled C-section, (the other three had been c-sections as well) were shocked that I had made it through the pregnancy (Men you should now insert your fingers into your ears and repeat after me, “Nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh.) Okay now while they are doing that I will tell you, my uterus was see through. When the doctors opened me up they could see Hannah’s hair and watched her looking around through my uterus. (yoo-hoo men, it’s safe to listen up again) I was told after that, in no uncertain terms, “NO MORE BABIES!” But you know I never would have known there was a problem and God brought our precious Hannah into the world and into our family... right were she belonged! This will always be a precious story to me! My own little vision of a life that God had not yet knit in my womb. A child of His that he has big plans for.
Hannah (4 weeks old) and mommy
Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:13
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