In the "real world" I am kind, I am thoughtful and selfless - only when the curtain goes up do I run my lines and with great conviction. And it is all okay, because it is my therapy, I needed this, I had to have a way to let it out. Everything becomes justifiable in the theater.
In a book I am reading, The Way Of Agape, the author encourages me to "take every thought captive". And I try, and I do. Until I don't. Until I take to the stage and it all comes undone. The venting, the acting, the justification, and permissiveness. They are all lies I tell myself. Somehow the curtain must come down once and for all. My audience must disperse. I must not take the stage again.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:15-17
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5
The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:45