Bloggling Brooks: Solo, Alone, All By Myself, Unaccompanied...

I had two people unsubscribe from my blog in two weeks. UNSUBSCRIBE! I'm no social media expert, but I am pretty sure that is going in the opposite direction of what one is aiming for. I realize things have been a little intense around here lately... I told somebody the other day, I think I am slowly tiptoeing out of my slump. Maybe a little of my old spunk is returning! :)

On that note I thought I'd tell you a little bit about my, get this, SOLO trip to the grocery store this evening. Here are a few of the things I discovered...

When I pass a mother with a cart full of children spilling out of every side and they are loud and whining, and the mother looks a little like one of the cast members of the walking dead - I find I want nothing more than to grab hold of the mom's arm, give her a soothing hug and tell her, "I feel your pain. In fact I looked just like you the day before. There is a reason I am at the store all by myself this evening." Then I want to point her in the direction of the wine and spirits aisle and tell her, "this too shall pass!"
Then there are those carts, with just the one child that I have been listening to from four aisles over. That cart I want to run past with my eyes closed, hands over my ears, yelling, "nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh!"
There is the occasional child I see running past me, father jogging clumsily behind, panting and slurring incoherent demands in the direction of the the mischievous juvenile. And for some reason I always get an overwhelming urge to stretch my legs at just that moment. And if for some reason a young lad comes to a crashing halt at my feet at that particular instance it would purely be a coincidence.
Men really should not help their wives shop for clothing. I heard the following conversation between a cute couple looking at scrubs. We'll call them Max and Mary.

Max: "Are you sure you can't wear an extra large?"

Mary: "No!"

Max: "But you can just pull the draw string really tight."

Mary: "No I wear an extra small!"

Max: "But wouldn't that be really cool?"

Mary: Audible rolling of the eyes. Seriously you could hear them rolling all the way back!

I should not be allowed to shop alone, unless I plan on getting a part time job.
Somehow it takes me twice as long to shop alone as it takes Jarrod to shop with four children! Why is that?
Going to the grocery store sans children does not necessarily mean peace and quiet without any tattling. Near the end of my trip I got a text from my oldest that said, "Hannah just told me I was ugly and stupid."Now you tell me, how am I suppose to deal with a three year old Hannah via text? And If I could, could I really do a better job than their father who was actually at home with them at the time?
According to my grocery cart I have excellent intentions for a week of healthy eating.
I may have, in reality, just spent $125 on weight lifting materials for our garbage man this week... we shall see!